or you'll get hit.
meredith hart mulcahy of naples was charged with "battery on an elderly person" in defense of her cooking tuesday night.
mulcahy's 71 year old common law husband complained about her undercooked potatoes and burnt bread at dinnertime, claiming that the latter was because she was cooking while intoxicated (surprisingly, NOT the crime in this situation). he went to his room to pick at the edible remains of his meal, only to find himself hit by a phone a moment later.
presently, mulcahy is in lee county jail awaiting a bail of $1500. i'm willing to bet it'll be her turn to complain about food come dinnertime.
Friday, July 10, 2009
i'm back. and this one is awesome.
there aren't worse things you can get in a public bathroom.
not that the threat of disease isn't bad, but getting shot in the leg is both unexpected, and way worse.
janifer bliss of tampa was in a public bathroom stall, when she felt a sharp pain in her leg. the pain came from a mistakenly discharged handgun, owned by the 56 year old woman in the next stall. bliss, 53, was taken to the hospital with minor injuries, and likely a healthy fear of public restrooms.
so hooray for long awaited returns, a new thing to fear on a public john, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
not that the threat of disease isn't bad, but getting shot in the leg is both unexpected, and way worse.
janifer bliss of tampa was in a public bathroom stall, when she felt a sharp pain in her leg. the pain came from a mistakenly discharged handgun, owned by the 56 year old woman in the next stall. bliss, 53, was taken to the hospital with minor injuries, and likely a healthy fear of public restrooms.
so hooray for long awaited returns, a new thing to fear on a public john, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
brooksville's new clothes.
more visible than the emperor's, with luck.
the city of brooksville is enforcing a new dress code, becoming one of three city outfits to do so. i like the idea, but they've stipulated such near-unenforceables as:
i don't have a problem with telling people what to wear to work. in fact, i'm one of the biggest proponents for professional dress that you'll meet for my age. but i'm also a big believer in having reasonable rules. and some of these are not going to be able to be effectively enforced. who's going sniffing around for someone not wearing deodorant? similarly, if someone's wearing too much of a fragrance, is that equally noncompliant?
another iffy one for me? a proposed rule in 1996 asked for skirt splits to be limited to an inch in order to negotiate a step.
and maybe the most offensive part of the article? in which they imply that these rules are set up so that men in the office are not enticed by women. city manager Richard Anderson, who I quite frankly never want to work for, said this: "Men have it hard enough just to do a day's work and not be enticed by a woman who is not dressed properly," Staib said at the time. "If you have to bend over for the bottom file . . . that would entice any man, unless he is not completely a man."
i'm all about dressing appropriately, but not to calm down your libido. just so i can do my job!
so my bottom line is this: don't come to work looking like you should be at the beach, the club, at a sporting event, or a party. beyond that, the specifics just shouldn't be necessary!
so hooray for workplace wardrobe wardens, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
the city of brooksville is enforcing a new dress code, becoming one of three city outfits to do so. i like the idea, but they've stipulated such near-unenforceables as:
- deodorant;
- underwear;
- "clothing considered offensive, distracting, or revealing"; or
- "skirts worn below the waistline such that the abdomen or waistline is exposed"
i don't have a problem with telling people what to wear to work. in fact, i'm one of the biggest proponents for professional dress that you'll meet for my age. but i'm also a big believer in having reasonable rules. and some of these are not going to be able to be effectively enforced. who's going sniffing around for someone not wearing deodorant? similarly, if someone's wearing too much of a fragrance, is that equally noncompliant?
another iffy one for me? a proposed rule in 1996 asked for skirt splits to be limited to an inch in order to negotiate a step.
and maybe the most offensive part of the article? in which they imply that these rules are set up so that men in the office are not enticed by women. city manager Richard Anderson, who I quite frankly never want to work for, said this: "Men have it hard enough just to do a day's work and not be enticed by a woman who is not dressed properly," Staib said at the time. "If you have to bend over for the bottom file . . . that would entice any man, unless he is not completely a man."
i'm all about dressing appropriately, but not to calm down your libido. just so i can do my job!
so my bottom line is this: don't come to work looking like you should be at the beach, the club, at a sporting event, or a party. beyond that, the specifics just shouldn't be necessary!
so hooray for workplace wardrobe wardens, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
i don't care how much i need to escape the police...
i am not lying facedown in a cow pasture.
but that's precisely what jeffrey moore and three of his friends were doing in a manatee county pasture when found by police.
moore was found to be in possession of a small slingshot, and a crossbow. he claims he and his friends were searching for psychedelic mushrooms.
i know what you're thinking: was the crossbow for a particularly large mushroom, or to fend off the dangers of the creatures they encountered on the drug trip? answer: neither. the crossbow and slingshot were to protect them from attacking cows.
in any case, the men were arrested and presumably their medieval weaponry was also confiscated.
hooray for medieval mushroom mauraders, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
but that's precisely what jeffrey moore and three of his friends were doing in a manatee county pasture when found by police.
moore was found to be in possession of a small slingshot, and a crossbow. he claims he and his friends were searching for psychedelic mushrooms.
i know what you're thinking: was the crossbow for a particularly large mushroom, or to fend off the dangers of the creatures they encountered on the drug trip? answer: neither. the crossbow and slingshot were to protect them from attacking cows.
in any case, the men were arrested and presumably their medieval weaponry was also confiscated.
hooray for medieval mushroom mauraders, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
what about "my mother, the car"?
the only instance in which i think a car would object to things.
oh, and herbie. let me not forget him.
however, a panama city motorist who blew a .228 spoke in defense of his towed vehicle after a traffic stop thursday, ardently assuring the officer that "the vehicle did not know what it was doing, and didn't deserve to be arrested."
this after he failed to make it to G in the alphabet during his field sobriety test. he started at F. and this is the BEST part of the story.
so hooray for abnormal alphabets and arrests, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
oh, and herbie. let me not forget him.
however, a panama city motorist who blew a .228 spoke in defense of his towed vehicle after a traffic stop thursday, ardently assuring the officer that "the vehicle did not know what it was doing, and didn't deserve to be arrested."
this after he failed to make it to G in the alphabet during his field sobriety test. he started at F. and this is the BEST part of the story.
so hooray for abnormal alphabets and arrests, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
everyone's taking the plunge!
but not everyone's doing it the same way.
stacy lazdowski and her fiancee waited six months after their wedding to start their honeymoon, and they're not waiting anymore. even after waking up the morning of the trip to find they'd acquired a new car.
in their pool.
the night before, a teenage driver in their coral springs neighborhood swerved to avoid hitting a cat, and ended up in the pool by way of the bushes and a fence. the driver was the only one in the car, and he managed to leave the scene uninjured.
and undetected, for the lazdowskis didn't find out any of this until they woke up to see it.
so hooray for catsaving capers in coral springs, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
stacy lazdowski and her fiancee waited six months after their wedding to start their honeymoon, and they're not waiting anymore. even after waking up the morning of the trip to find they'd acquired a new car.
in their pool.
the night before, a teenage driver in their coral springs neighborhood swerved to avoid hitting a cat, and ended up in the pool by way of the bushes and a fence. the driver was the only one in the car, and he managed to leave the scene uninjured.
and undetected, for the lazdowskis didn't find out any of this until they woke up to see it.
so hooray for catsaving capers in coral springs, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
it's been a while, but we're worldwide now.
that is, our may-november festish.
i return to you now, after too long of an absence, with a national/international story out of time magazine: why are so many female florida teachers sleeping with male students?
wouldn't we like to know?
the syndrome is being blamed on several things, such as blurred lines between teacher-student relationships, more social acceptance of practices like hugging (something tells me that sex is not one of those things that is ever going to be okay between teachers and students), and the like. but for whatever reason, it is more common in florida than anywhere else in the country.
they do have an interesting theory, which will make me up my cardigan collection as i venture into work with college students:
But why should Florida seem to be experiencing an especially high number of such cases? Are those women, and for that matter the hormonally charged boys they target, somehow egged on by the state's more sexually relaxed atmosphere, with its sultry climate and scantily clad beach culture? (California also has a high rate of teacher sexual misconduct.)
that's the reason. beaches.
so hooray for steamy days turning into steamy nights at school, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
i return to you now, after too long of an absence, with a national/international story out of time magazine: why are so many female florida teachers sleeping with male students?
wouldn't we like to know?
the syndrome is being blamed on several things, such as blurred lines between teacher-student relationships, more social acceptance of practices like hugging (something tells me that sex is not one of those things that is ever going to be okay between teachers and students), and the like. but for whatever reason, it is more common in florida than anywhere else in the country.
they do have an interesting theory, which will make me up my cardigan collection as i venture into work with college students:
But why should Florida seem to be experiencing an especially high number of such cases? Are those women, and for that matter the hormonally charged boys they target, somehow egged on by the state's more sexually relaxed atmosphere, with its sultry climate and scantily clad beach culture? (California also has a high rate of teacher sexual misconduct.)
that's the reason. beaches.
so hooray for steamy days turning into steamy nights at school, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
passed out in pasco.
that makes one every four hours, forty eight minutes!
in the span of less than 24 hours, five people were arrested after being found asleep behind the wheel of their cars. while time of day is of no consequence (sheriff's office spokesperson kevin doll says "people drink and take drugs at all times of day or night"), the circumstances of a few of these are pretty interesting; far better than the stories i'm familiar with- passed out in the steak and shake drive through, or in front of the 7-eleven waiting for taquitos.
so hooray for uniting in unconsciousness, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
in the span of less than 24 hours, five people were arrested after being found asleep behind the wheel of their cars. while time of day is of no consequence (sheriff's office spokesperson kevin doll says "people drink and take drugs at all times of day or night"), the circumstances of a few of these are pretty interesting; far better than the stories i'm familiar with- passed out in the steak and shake drive through, or in front of the 7-eleven waiting for taquitos.
- one of the five was found asleep after doing drugs and having drank 'a lot' before getting behind the wheel, needle still in hand;
- one was in the middle of the street (but claimed to not know why when he was roused from his slumber), foot on the brake but still fast asleep;
- a third, an employee of habitat for humanity, was weaving through oncoming traffic.
so hooray for uniting in unconsciousness, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
exposures of exposure?
must have been a sight to withhold...
a battle rages at sickles high school over a picture of one of its juniors, caught in a compromising position (think basic instinct) made its way into the yearbook.
while the school writes off the effect of the photo, claiming that it's a "shadow," the girl's mother is insisting that no more yearbooks be distributed, the ones that have been distributed be returned, and that the books be reprinted with a different photograph in its place. this woman clearly never had to try and produce a yearbook.
and all this work just to keep a pantyline from showing? i'll buy this girl a thong to escape the controversy.
in any case, hooray for puberty's pantyless problems, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
a battle rages at sickles high school over a picture of one of its juniors, caught in a compromising position (think basic instinct) made its way into the yearbook.
while the school writes off the effect of the photo, claiming that it's a "shadow," the girl's mother is insisting that no more yearbooks be distributed, the ones that have been distributed be returned, and that the books be reprinted with a different photograph in its place. this woman clearly never had to try and produce a yearbook.
and all this work just to keep a pantyline from showing? i'll buy this girl a thong to escape the controversy.
in any case, hooray for puberty's pantyless problems, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
helen bedd, i presume?
really? just sound it out, officers...
a florida-based prostitution arrest was made to a woman by the name of "helen bedd," advertising in the casual encounters section. a price was agreed upon between "bedd" and a disguised officer, before the arrest was made.
when the meetup occurred, it was discovered that Helen was actually a 41-year old man by the name of arthur ramos. ramos is unashamed by his status as a prostitute, informing the arresting officer that "prostitution was the world's oldest profession," and he "did not understand why the officers were making such a big deal of it."
so hooray for preposterous prostitute pseudonyms, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
a florida-based prostitution arrest was made to a woman by the name of "helen bedd," advertising in the casual encounters section. a price was agreed upon between "bedd" and a disguised officer, before the arrest was made.
when the meetup occurred, it was discovered that Helen was actually a 41-year old man by the name of arthur ramos. ramos is unashamed by his status as a prostitute, informing the arresting officer that "prostitution was the world's oldest profession," and he "did not understand why the officers were making such a big deal of it."
so hooray for preposterous prostitute pseudonyms, and HOORAY FLORIDA!
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