how sweet it is to be back.

but not as sweet as this.

a 65 year old fort pierce man was willing to do a lot for a klondike bar. that included shoving it down his pants at a texaco station. not the best place to keep it, given its relative temperature.
concerned about his chances of being picked up for shoplifting, he removed it, flattened though it was, and offered the gas station attendant $69 to keep this whole thing a secret.

if he had $69, why bother to steal the novelty? just saying.

in any case, it didn't work, and he's now in jail on $500 bail.

delicious.